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lyrics

i been noticin my flaws
they been obvious since the beginning but im now just growin tall
past the grass from the crawlin days; people takin care of me
but now im on my own with my homie on the side of me

[bass starts]
had to find another one to go and do music with
because the first ones bailed when the sound got sick
i got lit and its been pissin off half my family and peers;
ive been lookin at myself wonderin what i did

the progression is concerning
i keep on the learning while everyone is churning
playin roles in the cogs while i try to turn the other way
i aint part of this clock; what the fuck i gotta do to prove

my life aint normal; my love aint conventional
its all disagreements when they look my way
got a male lookin transgender neutral in the politics
spittin all opinions when she get up on her soapbox

the pocket fox only existed for 3 weeks
thats about the length of my friendships after weed
thats about the number of fucks i give about the piece
thats about the number of friends i lost during these

hard times of transcendence; thats what a-man said
i been cyclin through groups and im back to square one
where its me n jenny laughin; now jus add in deanne
this a sign of new times now that shits hit the fan

[talking voice]
yo shit hit the fan x2

[no drums]
and ive been wonderin where the fuck them posers from my high school
talkin bout how i aint gon make it with this rap boo

you think you so special? where the FUCKS your work?
where the FUCKS your time?
where the FUCKS your chirp?

i havent heard shit from any of yall since you critisized
that my dream job was to do what i love inside
be creative all day while i soak and travel nationwide
but now your college degree dont get you shit post ride

you wanna front me just because im all degenerate?
havent done anything to earn me a lettermen?
my soul be growin and i aint frontin on yours
but your music taste hasnt changed since we kicked it in 4th

you can laugh all you want but im the happy one dear
even though ive lost my friends; ive found whos real in here

[chorus]
sittin back
watchin time flow
watch the spirit in their eyes change from blue to gold

take a step from real world; unconventional
religion; unacceptance in the lines cause the decimals

unabashedly unaware of simpleton's blank stares
i pick up golden bricks in my bucket of nightmares

cause of fear? little change
whats it cause? all derange

fall asleep in my tear stoned house; how the story go

oh yes
its been a
long year
been a
fine year
wanna kill
myself


planned it all to be under wraps
a tragic little plan that i call my dramatica
all misunderstandings; this a landings
to let everyone know that im still standing

cus i really sit at night wondering how to run
can a mentally insane person go and buy a gun
aim at they head; or shit i might jus call the cops
run at em wit knives; i hear it works since its protocol

shoot first; aim last; think quick; save fast
they can skrt out and anne can come home to bloody trag
cus suicide for me; aint for no one else in this bitch
take me off the earth and the balance will flip the scale

id derail just for me; thats the only thing that matters in my head
but then i think of the others; its just two people
constantly arguing in me; He cant believe
doesnt wanna jump cus she loves her friends and family

odder revelations when i realise i wanna live
but itd be a damn lie if this album wasnt meant to send me off
into afterlife and scoff;
everyone to call me weak will have to hold the insults

credits

from My dear friend, Life., released January 17, 2017
produced, written, and mixed by brenden arias
mastered by echobase

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Brenden Arias Arizona

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