My dear friend, Life.

by Brenden Arias

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life is the first friend you make when you're born, and no matter how you feel about them; they'll be your friend in many different forms throughout life, and always in the end. what gives you life?

music videos:


released January 17, 2017

all songs except 1 & 11 produced by brenden arias
song 1 "mourning bells; awaken!" produced by brenden arias & friends.
song 11 "toujours ami (mchne bran remix)" remixed by mchne bran
original song of mchne bran remix by maedasalt
all songs written and mixed by brenden arias
all songs mastered by echobase
album art by brenden arias

mchne bran:



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Brenden Arias Arizona


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Track Name: Mourning Bells; Awaken!
im just another step back
to the right of the period
i add two more
and then it turns to a continuing

story on
ive been waiting to tell you
im on a slave ship
and you cant follow me down

to the ground where ive made my humble home
its a hop and skip and jump to the phonogram's tomb

be thankful for everyone around you
be thankful for times that will never last

life isnt forever
theyll die your friend one day
life isnt forever
theyll die your friend some day

hold your tears back cus this all the beginning
its god speaking now to all the little earthlings
Track Name: Drifting Through Nothingness to Avoid the Earth
something in the water
taking all my time
dear beloved father
have you seen mine?

copious amounts liquor
copious amounts of pain
dealing with this inner stress
like im some god damn saint

ive been waiting for my time
standing in the line for my turn to shine
put my head on the cutting board and ride

ride to my death; tricking my lefts
cant see my rights; oh what a sight
oh what a sight it isssssssss
take a picture b4 u forget

who i am
who i was
who i will be in the niiiiiiight

one with the sea salts by dawn
lookin at the line full of strobes on
aint meant to be in this club tonight
aint meant to ride with my boys tonight

but the withered old soul that stays in my heart
the preacher called me up and made some false prophecies
with a lot more green than i have ever breathed
my teacher is the pen to work out fallecies

lossless fed up in this world to head up
and peel the face of god to see whos in the mask
and maybe find some truth but only counter lash
whipped to the prime; primal state of mind

judged into submission; caustic dinners; listen
counter culture; sippin; ostracized; we trippin
on me; losin all my homies;
ive made it alone; maybe this my holy ghost to shine
Track Name: puddel
just a new day; a new life
i open my lids to the sky
it aint right

sposta to feel like im really somethin
the dreams yell if ive succumbed to them

the cold air of fall here
it makes the cigarettes fall asleep in my palms; fear

i think of pain in my throat while i speak
beleiving words that impulse me to breath


posture fixed up; eyes glued; a hiccup
i pick up the lonely red bottle of fancy liquor
it go down the throat; drying as it plunges deeper
escape sleep with tea; prolonged to morning scenes

sit on black chairs; summer fadin away;
bring me cold stares; perplexed on my mental state
the kin dont care; just complain from faraway
i distance myself; dont need people to chastise me

understand, please understand,
dysfunctional family tries to have upper hand
on the way i dictate and conduct my life around
what they dont understand is whats wrong with me

lack of conversation options when thee open thy mouths
sulk to my house when the sun starts to go down
ended off rocky; i know i ruined somethin
consequences overflowed when i try to be ethical

not possible with my arsenal
pick up the pistol and go [BANGx3]
Track Name: My dear friend, Life
can you see
up to no good when you look in my eyes

holdin back
every feeling i have ever touched face

with the girls
trying to catch all my single breaths in

is this pain?
or is it the lone infatuation

write it out now; blood as your ink
hold the phone now; do we need tanks?
bonnesssss; maybe its my line on this
extensional way to hold my dear friend

life down

loathingggg ayyy ive been waiting for you to come
visit me inside this fine sanded wooden box
ive been; feeling lonely waiting for a warm
hand to touch; cus ive lost all control to grab them

pick it up now; do we have tape?
the soldered siiddeeeee
falling off now; im losing my thanks
going home now looking for the
reason that i let my beautiful dear friend called

life down
Track Name: My Life Be the Set
key crazy; and sort of amazin
little tough kid from the valley of the sages
hit the phone now cus its hot in the booth
gotta kick the AC on for the kiddies in COOP

cus with growing up tall comes responsibility
a concept never grasped by the shitty likes of me
no man please; i aint too hard on myself
its hard to judge when my dick talks louder than my feelings

wilin in my PJs; never got the fuck up
been lyin bout my disability since the come up
its just a good way of sayin work aint for me
but when im home all day; i sometimes wonder if im free

cus i sleep in the day; and roll up joints to get faded
forget my existence; then make music thatll never hit yall
im slowly fallin off the ball
america is fucked because the youth aint growin tall

this a letter to the generation
i mean it with all grace and slight hesitation
i think the youth should get the fuck up
learn about the world sitting around them; not be stuck

because the comp aint everything
and raves aint a sentiment
to be a fuckass in your parent's basement;

you need leave the house sometime
because shrooms up north are my favourite past time

oh god its getting past 9
i gotta sleep right now
because its sucks bein an adult with priorities now

i cant do shit; cant even smoke you out
because im bein taxed to live by own life vows

it was all up to me when i was younger
unless you got a path where you like to starve and hunger

take a little seat and reevaluate your concious
life choices that youve made; were you honest?

hold up; u better call that phone now
line closes at 9; gotta double down
oh no you overslept; gotta wait for
the eager morning of a Saturday on hold

aint movin around all today
until you remember that you gotta go downtown
break out the list; always forget one thing
troubles in adult life; nobody seems perfect

every waking member of society has issues
its not miraculous happenings that ive been stressed out
a lot of times; i contemplate if its truly worth it
if my baby problems are worth a sad ending

i may be understatin in some areas but for the most part; its nothing to sweat over
i just hope that my friends give themselves breaks
its all overworking type lifestyles in college

no time to congregate; i stay unemployed
fam dont understand; yall heard that noise
always stressin about the money comin in
the bank doesnt grow; it just takes away the comma end
Track Name: On this day; I dream a better black hole
well hi
ive been dealin wit some problems
social anxiety ontop of extra crosses
sorta feel like my life is at a hault
despite me moving forward and playing a bigger part

in the choices that i discuss with all my lovahs
trying to overcome the switches that i flip up
and realising they shock when i refill my cup
so maybe its a sign that this whisky aint right

and my friends aint truthful; i lost my best one
because i smoke too much or cus im super contrainian
with the mindset; challenge all these objects
that theyre following the orders of their parents for their projects

and aint thinkin for themselves; the life i lead
im controlled by society ; its given defeat
as my plight to be different; it set me aside
ive lost all my buddies that i used to call ride

or dies; it aint nice that i live alone
in the heart of phoenix; i should call this my home
because home is where the heart is and thats where all this love started
maybe im jus bein weird for choosing my own starter

kit that no one followed
its just how the record swallows
all my civil matters inwards
i dream of better black hole

these are the woes of me
hope i get sucked in please

red white blue in my genes
freedom of press to report my feelings

freedom of act to commit my shooting
the final frontier of the lonely cool kid
the journey's super voyage to the star dust landing
i hope i make it off this earth with more understanding

i played
the fool
makin all descisions with

sentimental relapse
chucked me as far back as

last week
ive been

whether its
wrong or right
and im mostly comin to the conclusion that i been wrong
its been a long year of gettin birds eyes views

put my feet in other's shoes and its not my emotion
change of perspective; slow learner tryna perfect it
but the progress show much later so its useless in practice

tryna stand ontop of trees with a loss of balance
i dreamt of this nature's blackhole
tryna find a trill way to talk about anxiety
facades are my game when it comes to monopoly
takin all these rights away from my olds
cus the reality of this is that im used pain

im used to all these people usin me up
wanna free record sesh n some money up front
wanna get hella stoned but not your own dro
the drink aint yours and your smokin my marlboros

but slow down; didnt i let all of this, happen?
walkin all over my gold, platter?
being too nice to the fake, tragic?
yeah; its bad

im tired of all these snakes in the field
these witches are spellin my name out in tears
the suicide feel that this life is nothing
complex intersecting course to the ugly

fallout of nap now
im wakin the fuck up and startin the trial
this run is my game; im aimin for fame
but can i still be depressed when i make it?

so what the fucks the point?
should i care about money or should i care about joints?
because one is for spirits and the others the leg
that i hack the fuck off cus ill die if i care

im so muthafuckin depressed woah ohoh

got this weight thats jus inside my chest
im tryin for a simple fix
but rocks just penatrate the skin
n smoke just burns my lungs too thin

im muthafuckin depressed woah ohoh

hold up; you wanna shovel them pills?
these motherfuckers is actin like i dont need a will
dont need a bill; like im a fuckin rich in my cell
fuckin pay for this therapist with good intent? chill

i been cruisin while broke and im pickin up weed
the only source of therapy that is cheap
its been awhile since ive tried a new lease
and all these other costs that equate to me

its part of growin up; my depression set
video games that sink in my best
times in 05; i used to have friends
times in 08; i used to have women

that follow me around and tell me im cool
but this aint no school; im a somewhat a fool
for not expectin all this shit when im old
i guess im just tryna not grow up lone

but feelins is raw; comin from the bottom of my dumb hart
pitcher be ready for me to down hard if i wanna sing song
but maybe its time i stop smokin bong

dont run away x4

depression aint set yo
lemme tell you x2
Track Name: Dramatica
i been noticin my flaws
they been obvious since the beginning but im now just growin tall
past the grass from the crawlin days; people takin care of me
but now im on my own with my homie on the side of me

[bass starts]
had to find another one to go and do music with
because the first ones bailed when the sound got sick
i got lit and its been pissin off half my family and peers;
ive been lookin at myself wonderin what i did

the progression is concerning
i keep on the learning while everyone is churning
playin roles in the cogs while i try to turn the other way
i aint part of this clock; what the fuck i gotta do to prove

my life aint normal; my love aint conventional
its all disagreements when they look my way
got a male lookin transgender neutral in the politics
spittin all opinions when she get up on her soapbox

the pocket fox only existed for 3 weeks
thats about the length of my friendships after weed
thats about the number of fucks i give about the piece
thats about the number of friends i lost during these

hard times of transcendence; thats what a-man said
i been cyclin through groups and im back to square one
where its me n jenny laughin; now jus add in deanne
this a sign of new times now that shits hit the fan

[talking voice]
yo shit hit the fan x2

[no drums]
and ive been wonderin where the fuck them posers from my high school
talkin bout how i aint gon make it with this rap boo

you think you so special? where the FUCKS your work?
where the FUCKS your time?
where the FUCKS your chirp?

i havent heard shit from any of yall since you critisized
that my dream job was to do what i love inside
be creative all day while i soak and travel nationwide
but now your college degree dont get you shit post ride

you wanna front me just because im all degenerate?
havent done anything to earn me a lettermen?
my soul be growin and i aint frontin on yours
but your music taste hasnt changed since we kicked it in 4th

you can laugh all you want but im the happy one dear
even though ive lost my friends; ive found whos real in here

sittin back
watchin time flow
watch the spirit in their eyes change from blue to gold

take a step from real world; unconventional
religion; unacceptance in the lines cause the decimals

unabashedly unaware of simpleton's blank stares
i pick up golden bricks in my bucket of nightmares

cause of fear? little change
whats it cause? all derange

fall asleep in my tear stoned house; how the story go

oh yes
its been a
long year
been a
fine year
wanna kill

planned it all to be under wraps
a tragic little plan that i call my dramatica
all misunderstandings; this a landings
to let everyone know that im still standing

cus i really sit at night wondering how to run
can a mentally insane person go and buy a gun
aim at they head; or shit i might jus call the cops
run at em wit knives; i hear it works since its protocol

shoot first; aim last; think quick; save fast
they can skrt out and anne can come home to bloody trag
cus suicide for me; aint for no one else in this bitch
take me off the earth and the balance will flip the scale

id derail just for me; thats the only thing that matters in my head
but then i think of the others; its just two people
constantly arguing in me; He cant believe
doesnt wanna jump cus she loves her friends and family

odder revelations when i realise i wanna live
but itd be a damn lie if this album wasnt meant to send me off
into afterlife and scoff;
everyone to call me weak will have to hold the insults
Track Name: Reconnection
pilled up and lied
layin in the ground in my suit and tie

whisped voices above thee
lost signals in looped dreams

wrong doings in stations
practice tribulations
longing for some patience

but the leaves never drum
im waitin in the line for the tree huggers bode
cus im so lost so maybe need some reconnections
hold me to the nature's present

state of mind
for a trainquil
piece of mind; im fallin off the building's rise

informing bys; why gones are long
and tripping off the strumming song

passing roles to their mothers
then i turn to the sun
asking dad if he's bothered
to check on my whole well being
filling up my bright kings

hold me to my dearest broach
cop my hell ticket for coach
i should be a lot more worried
this is all i dreamed at 30

dont know where im going but its far from here
ive hopped on my spaceship and told them to clear
so i can keep a smooth take off
so i can track my weeks until im off this

extra travel tense
weeks leading up to this
solumn ending blip
theres no way back to my bliss

woah now u gotta slow down
time go on forward; that mean u too
life aint the same; it dont stay that way
its only in the now; no predictions here

but when signs keep pointing to your death
its hard to keep a straight face; what do you expect?
that youll fall on down? maybe lose your crown?
an addiction to power to unify the world

aw baby; this aint so crazy
its only explosions above our heads
the world aint endin; so whats this dread?
just an exestensial crisis; i lay in my bed

so maybe we make some new mistakes
youre dreamin; wide awake
the reality disconnecting from nerve ends

complete discretion of whyyyyyy
inside other worlds of
i know myself
i know myself
i know myself
i know myself
Track Name: Growing up; to deal with problems like a troubled minor
been young; 19; drivin in pipe dreams
full foot on the gas with bridges to nice things
cus we cant all run; sittin in the back wit cha headphones on
chillin wit the fact that your lifes all wrong

couldnt find a job or your credit report
waitin for the loan from your cigarette costs
too much drugs in the making boss
finna get caught by the 5-0; loss

think like the cops for my whole life man
even in my personal relationships;
dealin wit the bragiciousness
take a sip
fall right back; take a hint
flyin all my mind to space
milk and eggs my saving grace

they remind me of the shining light sky
never take another L from the bitch called life
even tho they my closest friend
i still hate them like a fandom's rant

im pillin it
searchin for the opiate;
snortin it;
crush it all up with the bottle kids
learn from the master;
numbin binge
i flung the singe

seryinge in my neck and maybe i will pass out
seryinge in my throat and maybe i will blast out
maybe this the last night; i pray to God it is
but petty prayers arent answered; i need to face my fears

outer space; my thoughts are back and forth
probs flashin around me; baby daddy courts
maybe this just how it is
maybe we got no control
maybe this my world now
maybe this the ending rolls

i dont wanna grow up yet;
wanna travel cross the world to the fuctions
wanna drink until i die with the munchkins
but not the little ones; not a fuckin soccer mom

i aint ready for life; barely ready for this one
ive held a knife to my throat askin for forgiveness
but its never come my way;
gettin scared tryna sleep it off; need another new opiate to numb it off

need another new ritual to warn it off
need another old testament to read it off
no matter what i do; its just a sleeping thought
in the back of my mind

cant even recline
in the back of myself
used to find my warmth;
now; all i find is scorched

scorched lungs; too many cigarettes
comin out my mouth; straight to the toliet
im not in no place for a kid

its not my time to grow up
too young stayin in the drugs on the slow ups
im not ready
im not ready

maybe when i wake up tomorrow
i will forget that i am even existing
i cant take it anymore i wanna stop existing
Track Name: Toujours Ami (mchne bran remix)
constant relentless tryin
to better myself and keep on flyin
forward towards the sun i go
my wings'll burn but it wont stop the show

pick up the phone; ive been all alone
leanin on walls in alleys covered snow
drunk mess; run to pick up this up
charred black lungs; gotta patch me up

trying to reconstruct parts of my brain
all the while with these suicide thoughts
hold me close when the shit aint right
fix my posture for the knife up right

but maybe its that time that we take a big left
off this road of desperate attempts
ive been more of waiting
for a real sign of debating

patiently in the back
ive been; oh no
cant see
next year
im flipped

but maybe thats just the point
life decides for me and i get no choice
i might as well cry; i might as well laugh
might as well love; might as well dance

dont know if it the endin still true
but im good if its not cus of you